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Joke of the Day

"You know, it occurs to me that my ceiling fan is inherently indecisive... Any time I ask it a question, it only ever responds with ""HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"""

"Once I got my art degree I didn't need to deliver to people anymore. Now they come to me, explaining what they want me to create. Then I ask them to pull up to the next window."

"What's the difference between a pizza and Trevor from GTA The pizza is less greasy"

"Don't let herpes become yourpes."

"Shitting myself about this Ebola situation... Which is worrying, because that's one of the symptoms."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it into the microwave until its Bill Withers."

"What's the difference between a hockey player and my exgirlfriend? A hockey player will shower after 3 periods"

"Now that ""twerking"" is in the Oxford dictionary, we probably can go back to grunting and hitting things to communicate."

"What's the definition of a nervous breakdown ? A chameleon on a tartan rug !"

"Willow Smith is 11 years old and has a tongue piercing, half of her hair shaved off, and is claiming to be bisexual? Sounds like somebody needs to move in with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."