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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it into the microwave until its Bill Withers."

"Do not mess with bears. You'll be their victim. Yogi Bear wears clothes. Where did he get his clothes? That's right - a victim"

"I was asked to be an Elvis impersonator for a kid's birthday party. I showed up drunk, shot the TV, then died on the toilet."

"I've been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants; Feefiphobia"

"What do you get when you cross a black and a mexican? Someone who's too lazy to steal."

"As a non-english native redditor ... Edit: grammer"

"What's the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates"

"On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese."

"County lockup has been a lot more fun since they started giving out temporary prison tattoos."

"Ever heard the joke about the airplane? Never mind, it just flew over your head."