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Joke of the Day
"Boss: Are you high? Me: If I was high could I do this? *teleports two inches to the right*"
Next Joke
"What does Hilter get when he's scared? The hebrewgeebies"
"Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb I said, ""Awww, are you an orphan""? He said, ""Yes, what gave me away?"" I said, ""Your parents."""
"Now that the Olympics are over, Michael Phelps can finally be released back to his natural habitat; the couch with a bong."
"How did the man find out his sister was actually his half-sister? He saw her penis"
"[PRESS CONFERENCE] Me: I'm going on the record. Yes, I'd go back in time to kill a baby Reporter: you mean Baby Hitler? Me: sure, whoever"
"I made a bet with my sister that I could make a working car out of spaghetti.. ..you should have seen her face when I drove pasta."
"How many metal heads does it take to change a light bulb? None. Darkness foreverrrr!"
"I fucked a girl for 1 hour and 45 seconds tonight Thanks daylight savings"
"What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes? A leperd"