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Joke of the Day

"I want to make a special present for my dad's birthday. How do I make a St. Patrick's Day mocha? He says Irish coffee is the only thing keeping this family together"

"Don't assume I have a bad memory if I don't remember what you tell me. More than likely its becasue I don't like you enough to pay attention"

"What I say: Play outside. What my kid hears: Find a spot in the yard where I can't see you so I constantly imagine you've been kidnapped."

"Impotence: Nature's way of saying, ""No hard feelings"""

"When my wife told me to stop imitating flamingos, I had to put my foot down"

"My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away."

"ALFRED: *wringing out wet birthday party invitation* it's difficult to read, but i'd hazard a guess at aquaman, master wayne"

"""If I had a Hi Fi"" - the next single by The Palindromes."

"Working with horses is hard but it's stable work."

"What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox? If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail."