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Joke of the Day

"The kid who would burn his marshmallow to a blackened crisp and say ""this is how I like it!"" is in prison now"

"Policeman: Why are you driving that car in circles? Driver: I was just going for a little spin."

"What do you call a black Eskimo dog ? A dusky husky !"

"Based on my hair this morning . I think I might be a muppet ."

"My wifes hair is so sexy, Its 50 shades of grey."

"[crime scene] photographer: I'm done unless you want another angle or something. detective: let's do a jumping one!"

"Don't believe anything a weatherman says until he takes off the jacket and rolls up the sleeves."

"Don't assume Wal-Mart sells walls. Unless you want an argument about existential reality with an 85-year-old greeter."

"What is ISIS's favorite mathematical operation? Square Root. Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized."

"I went to London over the weekend and wore tracksuit bottoms in the hope of fitting in. How wrong I was. If I really wanted to fit in, I should have wore a turban."