196952
Joke of the Day
"What is Beethoven doing right now? Decomposing."
Next Joke
"I believe Donald Trump can make this country what it once was- -an arctic region with zero population"
"Woke up late, so I put Red Bull in the coffee machine instead of water. Got halfway to work before I realized I forgot my fucking car!"
"How do you get an fat chick into bed? Piece of cake. Stolen from /u/No1ReallyCares' comment"
"Step 1: achieve tumescence. Step 2: figure out what tumescence is."
"2016: No way will Trump win the election 2017: No way will President Trump fire all those nukes 2018: No way we're doing what those Apes say"
"If you're a pregnant teenage white girl and you don't name your child Pumpkin Spice Latte you are wasting everyone's time."
"What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance"
"How does a south central chicken cross the road? ... In a bucket"
"A windy day Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench. The first says to her friends ""gosh, it's windy today"". The second says ""no, it's Thursday"". The third says ""so am I. Let's get a drink""."