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Joke of the Day

"*takes picture of son putting ornament on the tree* Okay, now give that back to mommy and don't touch another one, okay?"

"The inventor of predictive text has died. His funfair will be hello on Sundial. #1PUN"

"What do you call a bagel that can fly? a plain bagel."

"I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo."

"This is Bullshit. Since when is dressing for the job you want, not the job you have considered ""impersonating an officer""?"

"Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City? To see who shot his ""paw."""

"the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals."

"On my latest trip through New England I was really impressed with New York City but Boston just blew me away"

"What do you get when you cross human DNA with a penguin? A life time ban at the zoo"

"What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster? He became an ex-Ray."