196829

Joke of the Day

"""Hey, long time. Wassup?"" should be auto-corrected to ""Dude. Can you do me a favor?"""

"Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart? ...because its not a Target."

"What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing."

"Toast should never pick a fight with me because I eat toast for breakfast."

"Florida is about to release millions of genetically modified mosquitoes. I hope when they bite you they make you drive better."

"What did the camel toe say to the moose nuckle on New Years eve? Let's get toe up!"

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun ? Roamin' Catholic"

"What do you get if you fuck someone in the ear? Hearing aids."

"Divorce is tough on some kids. Mine were just happy to be single again."

"Two Na atoms are together on the battlefield... One of them gets shot. ""I've been hit!"" he yells. The other one looks at him. ""Are you sure?"" He replies, ""I'm positive!"""