196824

Joke of the Day

"A man goes into a butcher's shop and says ""I bet you 50 bucks you can't hand me the ribeye from the top shelf."" The butcher says: ""I can't take that bet, the steaks are too high."""

"Why doesn't Nickelback play football? Because even if they had 4 players they still couldn't throw a ball."

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers. But the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back."

"Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong. It just means that you value your relationships more than your ego"

"I got a call from Egypt today. They tried to get me involved in a pyramid scheme. (Credit to my wife for this one)"

"There are 4 states of Matter Solid, Liquid, Gas, and Black Lives"

"How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side."

"Yes, I do have a stalker. They call me every day, will occasionally buy me underwear, and know more about me than I do. I call her ""Mom."""

"Why didn't the buzzard have any luggage on the airplane? Because he ate his carrion."

"Why couldn't the Meteor marry the Ice Comet? It had a fear of Cometment"