196768

Joke of the Day

"*knocks on door* You're too fat. ""Wha--"" You're way too dumb. ""Wait--who.."" Hi, I'm Roy. I sell insecurity systems. You're too poor for one."

"What can turn a fox into an elephant? A marriage certificate."

"(alternate) My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house To kill the hallucinations I said She laughed. I laughed The toaster laughed I shot the dog"

"You guys wanna see something cool? http://www.fda.gov/ucm/groups/fdagov-public/documents/image/ucm197598.bmp"

"Studies show that most New Yorkers are offended by 9/11 jokes. The study also revealed that they thought the other 2/11 jokes were funny."

"I wish I was a Farmer So I could be outstanding in my field."

"Why was the man intently watching the bowl of snickers? He wanted to see who would have the last laugh. ^^back ^^to ^^work..."

"Why did the excluded tree grow? To be long."

"McDonald's is coming out with a Michael Jackson burger... ...it's a 40 year-old piece of meat sandwiched in between two eight year-old buns."

"Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt. Well, that and sex."