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Joke of the Day

"If Rihanna was a bear name one of her songs. Bees Better Have My Honey"

"Mike Tyson's biggest problem was he never had a strong male role model growing up. Mike's dad walked out on the family very early on, after Mike raped him."

"If you're wondering what all these scratches on my chest are from, it's because my cat hates to get in the hot tub with me."

"Netflix should double as a dating site and be like ""here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."""

"The fun way to tell if a celebrity is crazy is by how many times they delete and reactivate their Twitter account."

"If you roll out your chapstick more than an inch, I'll see you in court."

"What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? He cracked up."

"Jewish kid asks his father for $50 ... His father replies: ""Forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"""

"8.7328917415 The cube root of all evil."

"Whiny prostitute Why did the whiny prostitute feel she really needed to buy a house? So she could finally feel comfortable telling her parents she was a ho' moaner."