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Joke of the Day
"If you roll out your chapstick more than an inch, I'll see you in court."
Next Joke
"What do you call a fat Asian? moo-lan"
"I don't understand how many blueberries you're supposed to eat in one sitting. 10? 2,000? There's no natural stopping point."
"Whats the worst thing you can do to a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet"
"We've got people working on world peace, and I'm here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient's chocolate without her noticing."
"How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? By rearranging the furniture."
"I'm not saying Ellen Pao is Hitler but.. I haven't seen the two of them in the same room.."
"Your forehead is so big you donated it to charity for shelter!"
"A boiled egg in the morning... is hard to beat."
"My wife hit me in the face with a frying pan and yelled, ""That's for all the cheating!"" She has a weird way of apologising."