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Joke of the Day

"An employee tells his boss... Hey, that's a nice car you have there. The boss looks at him and says: Work hard, stay after hours, and next year, it'll be even nicer."

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"I'm certainly no authority, but if you want to avoid the muffin top you probably shouldn't put size 8 jeans on a size 12 girl."
"Knock knock Who's there Olivia Olivia who? Olivia, so let me in my bloody house!"
"My wife said to me, ""Isn't it odd how on our keyboard the letters ORPN have been worn out?"""
"Hey reddit, guess what's funnier than 24? 25"
"I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then ask me why I'm not wearing pants."
"Q: What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja? A: Canuck-chucks."
"My neighbor came pounding on my front door at 2am last night lucky for him, I was up practicing my bag pipes."
"What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? We don't know; she hasn't opened her presents yet."
"I like my men like I like my farts. Wet and old."