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Joke of the Day
"I like my men like I like my farts. Wet and old."
Next Joke
"I will never have to admit to a mistake at work when I can blame the last person who quit"
"What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe? Exoplanets Thought that one up myself."
"My 3-year-old dumped pudding in her pocket. Novice dad reaction: ""You ruined your pants."" Veteran dad: ""Thank God. I thought it was poop."""
"Coworker: I like working with you. I feel like I can really talk to you Me: I'm sorry I gave you that impression. That's not correct"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bing ! Bing who ? Bing down the house !"
"What do you get when you cross a Jew? Christianity."
"Can of sardines in Soviet Union A man in the 80s in Soviet Union buys a can of sardines. He opens it and it's empty, but there is a little note in it: ""Not a winner"""
"Ever say hi to someone and immediately regret it because now you know you have to say hi to them forever?"
"Yo mama's so fat... ...when she died, she had to be preserved in formalda-wide. She then had to be whipped creamated. If she wasn't, they would have had to given her an open-graveyard funeral."