196639

Joke of the Day

"How do you starve a right wing christian? Hide their money in their bible."

"How many 9GAGers does it take to change a lightbulb? Exactly the same amount as the Redditors on /r/AdviceAnimals and /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu ."

"My ex-girlfriend is like a chocolate She killed my dog"

"Every dog, in a previous life, has been murdered by a shoe."

"People make such a big deal about vegans, but I don't get it. I've never had a beef with one."

"I'm going to hire a Priest, a Doctor and a Rabbi to walk into a bar together just to see WTF happens. Backup Plan: I'll also bring a horse."

"Santa claus may only come once a year... But when he does he does it, on Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!"

"My daughter ruined her Halloween costume. Gonna wrap her in aluminum foil and send her out as a leftover."

"Rectum, damn near killed him! I always hear this punchline, without the build up part. What are some variations on this classic joke?"

"""I'm tired but I'd really love to be exhausted and covered in my own sweat."" - Naps"