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Joke of the Day

"My daughter ruined her Halloween costume. Gonna wrap her in aluminum foil and send her out as a leftover."

"Did you know that Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer? Too bad he never cries."

"A scientist and a hooker walk into a bar... But find that they can't open the door due to an over-saturation of priests, rabbis, lawyers, and Irishmen inside."

"What's brown and rhymes with 'Snoop'? Dr Dre"

"How do you throw a party in space? Planet. I'll show myself out."

"Hi, my name is Chadical--I mean--Chad, and I'm a recovering bro. [group says ""Hi, Chad"" but one voice goes ""Sup bro""]"

"I slept like a log, which means my underside was moist and bugs kept crawling up my crack."

"If you want to have sex with a frog, use a condom If you want to enjoy it, rib it"

"I am having an out of money experience."

"I was talking to my buddy about 50 Shades Of Grey He said ""yeah, my wife and I have been doing S&M for years."" ""Really!"", I said, ""I had no idea!"" ""Sure,"" he said, ""she sleeps and I masturbate!"""