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Joke of the Day
"Every dog, in a previous life, has been murdered by a shoe."
Next Joke
"The sequel to Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is just a series of horrified people finding parts of missing kids in their chocolate bars"
"What's the difference between love, pure love and excessive love? Blowing Swallowing Gargeling"
"They should make engagement ring boxes that whisper ""Dont do it"" when you open them."
"Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more? He kept trying to shave the princess."
"I don't understand why Pabst gets such a bad wrap. It won a blue ribbon Once."
"How fast are black people allowed to go on the highway? 25 to Life."
"I've started writing crossword puzzles for a national newspaper. The money is not great but It's allowed me to buy a little two up two down house."
"""You clean up nicely"", is just a polite way of saying, ""You usually look like shit."""
"Something good did come out of last night: I talked to my mom and my fiancee on the phone while they were crying- and it wasn't about something I'd done!"