196620

Joke of the Day

"Patron: Waiter why is there a spider in my glass? Waiter: It scares away the flies."

"A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas. He returned home a seasoned veteran."

"Sneaks into your house and removes all the labels from your canned goods. Shuffles them well."

"So, if someone who works for the Postal Service did an AMA and answered every single question... ...does that mean OP delivered?"

"Me to waitress: Do you validate? Waitress: Parking, you mean? Me: No. Like, can I read you some tweets and you tell me if you like them?"

"What do you call a fish without eyes? A FSSSSSHHHH"

"Leather armor is the best for sneaking because it's literally made of hide."

"What's a dentist's favorite time? 2:30"

"What does a bird say when it wants revenge? Toucan play at that game!"

"Why are fat people so rich? Because they have lots of pounds."