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Joke of the Day

"What did the apple say to the pear? [Man, go] away!"

"I saw an infant in the intensive care unit at the hospital... ... quietly playing with a toy donkey. I couldn't help but think: ""ICU baby, shakin' that ass"""

"Old Aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, ""You're next."" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

"I like dating black girls... Because I don't have to meet their dad."

"A better blonde joke What is the difference between a brick and a blonde? If you lay a brick it doesn't follow you home."

"First Monster: I'm so thirsty my tongue's hanging out. Second Monster: Oh. I thought that was your necktie!"

"What does a duck call a tractor? A quacktor"

"Switzerland is a pretty sweet country... and their flag's a big plus."

"How is a good criminal defense lawyer like a dead hooker? I use them both to get off."

"How do you know you've been making too many jokes? When the wordplay becomes wordwork."