196619

Joke of the Day

"To make a long story short: Hamlet: Everyone dies Macbeth: Everyone dies Titanic: Everyone dies Twilight: You want to die"

"What do you call a mythical milkshake? Legendairy (credits to my friend Edward Feng for this really dumb pun)"

"What if I color on you? What if I run a truck along your back? Steal your toy? Throw a ball? Spit food at you? - My toddler, wooing the dog"

"Why did the little black kid start crying when he had diarrhea? He thought he was melting."

"A farmer asked me for help with his chickens He said ""I have 87 chickens, can you help me round them up?"" I said ""Sure... 90."""

"Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game ? It was a cup draw !"

"I only date black girls... Because I hate meeting fathers."

"The fact that the self-checkout computer doesn't say ""This shit is bananas"" when scanning bananas seems like a wasted opportunity."

"Nana said I took too much NyQuil so I laughed at her and then she turned back into a paper clip and jumped into my fave Law & Order episode."

"Interested in: ( ) men ( ) women (X) food"