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Joke of the Day

"Nana said I took too much NyQuil so I laughed at her and then she turned back into a paper clip and jumped into my fave Law & Order episode."

"Just Cuz It Zips Dont Mean it Fits"

"I knew someone who died in a skydiving accident. Their funeral wreath was in the shape of a parachute. After all, that's what they would've wanted."

"What does a bi-sexual porn star do at work? Fuck all"

"Worldwide Survey A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,158,783,476 people, 95% were too lazy to actually read that number."

"At my funeral, I'm stipulating in my will that after the eulogy is read the crowd can have 15 minutes for rebuttal, just to be fair."

"Jesus was such a player.... ...he was laid in a manger"

"I've just made an abortion. I'm not kidding."

"Why doesn't Santa have any kids? Because he only comes ones a year & when he does its in a chimney!"

"HANDJOBS are a touchy subject."