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Joke of the Day

"My husband still talks about that one time he loaded the dishwasher correctly like it's going to get our kids into Harvard."

"Their are only two things I hate about this world Those who can't respect other people's cultures and the Danish"

"How do you make a space party? You planet."

"How did the astrologer cross the road? In his Taurus!"

"Where did Abdelhamid Abaaoud do most of his craft shopping? Wahabi Lobby."

"I wanted to be a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening."

"Why are orphans terrible baseball players? They don't know where home is."

"Joe: $400? For ONE night? Innkeeper: It's the honeymoon suite. [outside] Joe: No rooms. Mary: None? Joe: Bummer, huh. That barn looks cosy?"

"My mom never liked Bill Cosby's jokes. She says they put her to sleep."

"A drug dealer sold me shoes today I don't know what he laced them with because I've been tripping all day."