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Joke of the Day

"My pregnant wife said her doctor told her no more sex until the baby is born I asked, ""What did your dentist say?"""

"You're in your 20's... you don't have ""haters""... you have ""adults"" that think you are ""annoying"""

"Baby, I wish I were DNA helicase... ...so I could unzip your genes."

"Tomorrow is boss' day."

"If you read a text in front of the mirror three times, I will appear and help you analyze it."

"I invented the sandal for people with one leg. It was a flop."

"I'm pretty Gouda cheesy jokes And I bet you Swiss I had another."

"People need to quit hating on women that breastfeed in public. I'm allowed to raise my cat however I want."

"Me: Diets suck. Why I gotta do it too? Her: No I in team Me: Isn't 1 in diet either. Her: Yes there.. Me: I'm too hungry for your mindgames!"

"Right about now, Sarah Palin is sipping coffee and picking her next factually incorrect thing to say. And Glenn Beck is chasing a squirrel."