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Joke of the Day

"Semi-good news for agoraphobics... A treatment is right around the corner!"

"Thought my Siamese twin was giving me the cold shoulder. Turns out he was dead."

"If I offer you some of my gummy worms, I am just trying to be polite. Don't you fucking dare take any."

"What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer... I give a shit when my computer crashes."

"Did you hear about the women who got wooden breast implants? A punchline would be funny here, Wooden Tit?"

"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism."

"* Kindergarten* Hi kids! I'm the homeroom mom for your class. [writes name on chalkboard] [Boy Raises hand] We can't read. No one can read"

"What kind of mane does a Chinese lion have? Lo mein."

"What do you call a Chinese prostitute with no legs? Dragon Lips."

"Female without the vowels is 'FML'. Need I say more?"