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Joke of the Day

"My new girlfriend is amazing in the bedroom... She goes down on me more than the EA servers..."

"What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker? Your job still sucks"

"Never trust stairs, They're always up to something."

"My Memory Lane is now mostly traffic cones."

"I'm dating a feminist historian Not to brag, but I am -*really*- good in bed. She thinks I've been fucking her for thousands of years."

"'William I've been told that you have been fighting with the boys next door' said mum. 'yes but they're twins so I wanted some way to tell the apart.'"

"Did you fall out of heaven? Because you look like it hurts."

"Its not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama In long races usually the guy from Kenya wins."

"The NFL was considering issuing small bats to the referees to ""knock"" the balls used for the Super Bowl to check for proper inflation... but then they realized that was queer."

"Dial-up internet called. They couldnt get through."