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Joke of the Day

"Did you fall out of heaven? Because you look like it hurts."

"I'm so much like a noodle when I shower. sit in hot water for 7-8 minutes and become soft, squishy, and delicious afterwards"

"Two blondes are in geography class together... One asks the other ""Which is closer, London or the moon"" The other replies ""The moon, obviously, can you see London?"""

"I had a break up with my clone the other day... I was being sincere by saying, Its not you, its me."

"I think my friend might be gay... His dick tastes like shit."

"""Pick a card....any card."" -impatient Hallmark employee"

"What do you call an imaginary color? A pigment of your imagination."

"Life is a dick... It looks short, but it becomes longer when it gets hard."

"What's the difference between tired and exhausted? When you run in front of a car, you get tired When you run behind a car, you get exhausted."

"Why did Johnny fail his programming class? His mom kept telling him to do his homework, ""No ifs, ands, or buts!"""