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Joke of the Day

"Before seeing why your toddler has been quiet for 10 mins it's best to first call the plumber and write your apology letter to the landlord."

"I put a roofie in my wife's drink last night. It was AWESOME. I played PS4 for five hours straight without anyone asking me to do anything."

"What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtian."

"RIP Jordin Sparks She had no air"

"I don't see what the big deal is with vaccinating your kids. My mom vaccinated me plenty and I turned out shapes."

"The Queen Bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day. Jay Z found his 100th problem then."

"I'm just a girl sitting here wondering which outfit I own goes best with bad decisions..."

"How do you make Hitler kill himself? Give him his gas bill."

"The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist."

"Someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor bastard."