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Joke of the Day

"How is Valve like Uranium-238? By the time they get to the third Half Life 13.5 Billion years will have passed."

"Will only make sense to geezers... Q: What do Hot Lips Hoolihan and Richard Pryor have in common? A: They both have had major burns on their face."

"What's the difference between a wife and a dog? The later you get home, the happier one is to see you"

"My Dad always calls me goldfish... I forget why"

"Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day."

"Spidy nonsense Sometimes I feel like spider man. Once I had Gwen Stacy, now I just have Mary Jane."

"I'm at my most vulnerable when I'm trying to spell Chrysanthemum"

"Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 blondes."

"What's the name for a person that only gives massages to men? A massagonist."

"A forest fire is the world's way of adding black trees to the forest community."