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Joke of the Day

"How is Valve like Uranium-238? By the time they get to the third Half Life 13.5 Billion years will have passed."

"Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from? Me"

"My friend told me that each person creates 10 tons of CO2 a year, and said I should be taking steps to bring that number down so I shot a guy."

"What are the unspoken rules of sign language? All of them"

"What do you get when you mix yoga and scouting? Concentration camps."

"I only stop browsing Reddit when I accidentally hit something ..or when it's time to wipe"

"Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for 2 years There's a sign at every court with her mugshot that says ""do not serve this woman""."

"Hootenanny is just one of those stupid made up words, like 'ambition' and 'productivity'."

"If you were born in September... Then, you can be sure that your parents started the New Year, with a bang."

"She said she liked bad boys. So I de-alphabetized her DVD's and set fire to her little yippie dogs. Still didn't get laid. Fucking women."