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Joke of the Day

"They call it ""pms"" because ""mad cow disease"" was already taken."

"How did Helen Keller get punished? Her mom rearranged the living room"

"Why should you be scared of a white man in prison? Because you know he is actually guilty. Credit to /u/Ser_Rodrick_Cassel for the joke!"

"Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."

"A farmer decided to sell all of his chickens to the highest bidder... It was poultry in auction"

"Damn, I burnt one. What did God say when he made the first black man? ""Damn, I burnt one."""

"Me: *puts ferret in box with cat* Mom: What are you doing? Me: Making carrets! Mom: Carrots? Me: Yup! *plays Barry White* Cat: *yowls*"

"Tom DeLong has split from Blink 182... Looks like he lasted 'de long' time."

"Turkey bacon is a lot like normal bacon except that IT'S NOT AND IT NEEDS TO GO BACK TO HELL, WHERE IT CAME FROM."

"Girlfriend told me she wants me to pull her hair , but apparently not while she's driving. Girls are weird."