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Joke of the Day

"I had a wooden whistle... And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle."

"This Christmas, I got a new car for my wife I thought it was a great trade."

"""Are you even listening to me?"" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation."

"I sometimes think of Siri as my wife on account of her voice & how she's always misinterpreting what I'm actually f'ing saying."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number.. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"When bae starts to age... She turns beige."

"What does a corpse and snow have in common? They are both cold and are hilarious to throw at unsuspecting children."

"Men are like floor tiles You lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for the rest of your life"

"Why haven't Fruity/cocoa pebbles teamed up with a milk company to make the flavor of milk that has the taste after you eat the cereal.Idiots"

"JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*"