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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard? Figuring out what to tell you about first."

"Where do Knights get their armour? The hardware store. One I came up with when I was about 10."

"Please write another brilliant status about how high you are. I'm on the edge of my seat here."

"""You can't tell me what to do!"" I screamed, and ate the packet of silica gel."

"Would've totally banged this chick at the bar, but I noticed she had a crooked pinkie toe. Better luck with someone without standards,babe."

"Q: Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge? A: To avoid car-pool tunnel!"

"""Sushi"" is Japanese for ""take a picture of this, white girls."""

"Did it hurt when you fell off a whore tree and banged every man on the way down?"

"Another Knock Knock Joke Knock Knock... Who's There? Autch Autch-Who? Gesundheit...."

"Turns out Chlamydia is much easier to get than it is to spell."