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Joke of the Day

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"" it's a great saying... but a terrible way to tell your kids that they're adopted."

"I saw that new movie about N.W.A I rate it Straight/Compton"

"How do you start a black parade? Roll a 40 down the street."

"The length of my penis was in the Guinness Book Of World Records Untill the librarian told me to take it out"

"While making small talk with my wife's doctor I asked him what he does for a living because I am amazing at human interaction."

"No LinkedIn, I do not want to display my Twitter on my profile. I would actually like to keep my chances of getting a job above zero."

"How is Donald Trump like a pumpkin? They're both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should have been thrown out in early November."

"You should trust Benjamin Franklin's judgment He's always right on the money."

"Did you know you can raise your energy levels by holding sodium in one hand and a AA in the other? Worst thing that will happen is you'll be charged with, A salt and battery."

"Clark Kent: *sits glasses on counter* Lois Lane: Who are you and where did the new countertop come from?"