195930

Joke of the Day

"""Son, I just wanted to let you know your adopted"" ""Are you kidding? Really?"" I shouted. ""Yup, get ready,"" he said. ""They'll be picking you up in about an hour."""

"I'm doing 'Angry Yoga' tonight. It's just lying on a mat and drinking a bottle of wine as I shout at my thighs."

"My bowel is upset. Must be full of shit."

"I work in an elevator. It has its ups and downs."

"How do sharks like their steak? Whale-done :)"

"I hate when I get so stoned that I can barely feel my legs and arms and antlers and wings."

"A redneck walks into a bar with a huge pile of shit in his hands... and says,""Hey, look what I almost stepped in."""

"Five swedish men in a pool The swedes were swimming and suddenly a condom popped to the surface of the water. Directly one of the mans asks: ""who farted?"""

"#rubbishjokes What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A panda with a set of drums."

"When I was a kid I could go to a corner store with a $1 and get 2 cokes, 1 kitkat and a gum Nowadays there are CCTV cameras everywhere"