19591
Joke of the Day
"How do you say goodbye in Arabic? ""BOOM!"""
Next Joke
"judge: ""you have chosen to defend yourself, is that correct?"" me: [muffled from inside full suit of armour] ""that's correct"""
"How is Billy Cosby like Santa Claus? They both come when you are sleeping"
"I know we just got divorced, but would you mind showing my girlfriend how to make an omelet the way I like them?"
"For everyone in the working world today: It's a Tuesday... ...which is like a Monday but with steel-toed boots and a slightly lower aim."
"[A Dad about to give the birds & the bees talk] ""Son, when-"" *Watches son try to poke a Capri Sun for 35 minutes* ""Know what, we're good"""
"What would you get if you crossed Bill Gates with Louis Leakey ... a philanthropologist."
"What's the opposite of a somersault? A winter pepper."
"What's it like paying a dude for sex? It's a pain in the ass."
"Excuse me, but I feel like your eyebrows owe me an apology."