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Joke of the Day

"i'm going to quit my job and open a donut shop that also sells weed i'll call it 'glazed and confused'."

"Judge: You stand before me accused of being a duvet. How do you plead? Defendant: Not quilty."

"Did you hear Viagra now comes in a nasal spray? It's for dickheads!"

"If Michael Vick was a Pokemon trainer.... ..he would be a gym leader"

"What Einstein say when someone tried to take his beer? Nein! Mein Stein!....sorry"

"I'm so old I thought ""stfu"" was a reminder to pack my ""shoes, tie, fedora, underpants."""

"if you run over a bicyclist with an acoustic guitar on his back the cops will pull you over and give you a briefcase with money in it"

"You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they are around your throat, she is probably upset at you."

"Why do people get addicted to meth? Because they didn't think of the aftermeth."

"What does a gentleman do after sex? He puts the diaper back on."