195830

Joke of the Day

"What did the astronomer say when the government launched a napalm bomb to the seventh planet Uranus is on fire"

"Why can't your jokes ever make NRA members laugh? Because jokes don't make people laugh, people make people laugh."

"Whenever my grandma comes to visit and I hear a loud thud from upstairs, I go for a coffee and think about the cool stuff I just inherited."

"[Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? ""Ankhesenamun"" - How do you spell that? ""Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"""

"I may not know much about a lot of things, but this fact I'm sure of: A smoke detector battery will never go dead during the day."

"I got a job at a bakery today I kneaded the dough."

"What does a Hot Pepper and a Prostitute have in common? Your dick burns like hell after you stick it in. Side Note: I just realized how much I love prostitute jokes."

"I wonder how deep North Korean influence runs in america. Anyone could be a sleeper asian"

"If by 'paleontologist' you mean I can name all 5 shapes in the box of dinosaur chicken nuggets then, yes, I am a paleontologist."

"I like my women like I like my champagne 13 years old and smashed over the bow of my yacht"