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Joke of the Day

"What do tampons and renaissance art have in common? You get upset when your dog tears up either of them because they are period pieces."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster... but a cop shot it."

"Teacher: ""Which book has helped you the most in your life?"" Student: ""My father's check book!"""

"So i recently came over my ex... Hit her right in the eye! Sorry."

"What is it with Russians and their track suits? Because back in Soviet day, suit track you."

"Most people go talk to a therapist, family, or friends to get shit off their chest... ...I however just go take a shower."

"The Pope and Raquel Welch are stranded on a life boat They're out on the ocean and, yada yada yada, and she says, ""Those aren't buoys"""

"Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

"""It's MY way, or that other way!"" -Ultimatums before the invention of the highway"

"The man who discovered copper died penniless."