1956

Joke of the Day

"Just bought some local farm-fresh free-range artisanal organic grass-fed hormone-free something or other that makes me better than you."

"Thats is how i outsmart him :P My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"Did you hear about the woman who died at an orgy last night? She went down swinging."

"Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line) Enough to break the ice, how's it going?"

"Whoever said that collectively women are the fair sex obviously didn't understand the meaning of fair, or women, or maybe even sex..."

"i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami"

"You are what you eat Asshole"

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock? you can't fuck a rock"

"Yes I wore a $900 fuchsia southern belle dress to your kid's baptism. When I was your bridesmaid, you said I could always wear it again."

"If your product's third layer is for absorbency, I don't want to see the commercial at dinnertime."