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Joke of the Day

"I lost my thumb in a serious movie rating accident."

"Why did so many jews die at Auschwitz? Because the exit doors were coin operated."

"Two fish in a tank. One says to the other.... ""You know how to drive this thing?"""

"In Korean restaurant w/my son & Korean waitress says to him""Hi, how are you""? ""Sorry I don't speak Chinese"" Great. I've raised a douche!"

"What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor."

"There was once this starving homeless man near Pyongyang... This joke has been removed. Food and shelter is plentiful in North Korea. To desire more is greed."

"""Your word is their..."" ""Your word is their,"" said the spelling bee judge. The contestant, confused, asked for a sentence. ""They're looking for their dog over there,"" replied the judge."

"What's the difference between having sex on two twin beds pushed together and Reganomics? You get fucked and fall through the cracks."

"I fostered a kid last night Not bad a can right in the back of the head form 20 yards"

"If I'm busy and see an interesting article, I open it in a new tab, read the first paragraph, and later, when I have time, close the tab"