195566

Joke of the Day

"Free sex tonight I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not the sharpest elevator in the sea."

"I don't know it Switzerland is a good country But the flag is a big plus."

"I scream. You scream. We all scream. ISIS laughs."

"SUPERHERO: I alienate my loved ones to protect them from danger ME: Me too, that's also my reason"

"""Knok Knock "" -""Knok Knock."" =""Who's there ?"" -""Grandad"" =""Shit, stop the funeral"" credit: Gary Delaney"

"If flies fly after flies flies fly fucking fast It's better in Dutch: > Als vliegen achter vliegen vliegen vliegen vliegen vliegensvlug"

"I thought of a great joke about turkey coups. I would tell you, but it would probably fly right over your head."

"""Mom, I'm an adult. There's nothing left for you to show me."" (*folds a fitted sheet*) ""TEACH ME YOUR SORCERY, LINEN WIZARD"""

"Gym memberships are expensive, just tattoo biceps all over your body and eat all the cake you can find."