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Joke of the Day

"If a white girl falls in the forest, and no one is around to omg, does she even?"

"My favorite thing to say when a man offers me a drink is, ""Of course I'll have another...I AM drinking for two, after all!"""

"When ghosts attend a sex party, what is their favourite group activity? Boo-kkake"

"I walked into a store today... ...and they were selling explosives disguised as prayer mats. I wasn't one to judge them; after all, they'd said prophets were going through the roof."

"I think I'm allergic to cats. They give me stomach aches."

"Some of those Mardi Gras beads could serve a dual purpose. Don't act like you hadn't thought about it."

"Let's see here... Said the blind to the deaf."

"THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM I'm out of beer."

"I was going to make a dubstep joke But I'll just drop it."

"I got a Jury Summons today, I'm sending them my Twitter profile to get out of it. Fingers crossed."