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Joke of the Day

"DOCTOR: Are you sexually active? ME: Depends on what you mean by active. There are plenty of active volcanos that haven't gone off in years"

"I was worried because I heard a beep and didn't know if it was my cell, iPod, Wii, Skype, Facebook, email, Twitter or TV. Thank God it was just the fire alarm."

"I told my wife she shops too much, but she wouldn't listen. She's so damn clothes-minded"

"How is today Monday? It was Friday only a few hours ago..."

"How do you scare a bee? Boo bee. (Boobie - get it? - courtesy of my kids)"

"Yo momma is so fat, shes got more ""coverage"" than my cell phone provider"

"""Hey, will you join us in our street protest?"" No thanks ""Why not?"" I actually love streets"

"What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome."

"My buddy went to a foreign country to get his sex change operation. Now he's a dude who's abroad."

"An inmate went messing, and his cellmate, a cannibal, claimed he had eaten him The warden didn't believe him, so the cannibal finally threw up his hands out of frustration."