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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Snickers and my girlfriend? Snickers satisfies."

"S/O to side walks, my legs, elevators, my arm, and my eyes For keeping me off the streets, helping me to stand up for my self, picking me up when I'm down, giving me a hand and showing me the light."

"(Arrives in rescue boat to aid sinking cruise ship full of today's pop artists, saves only Lorde and Sia, speeds away)"

"Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one."

"What happens when the fog lifts in California? UCLA."

"When searching for Gary Oldman on google images Make damn sure you dont miss that r..."

"What does Spiderman do when he's not fighting crime? Web Development."

"What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long? Polaroids! I'm so bored..."

"My brother's a professional boxer. Heavyweight ? No featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death !"

"Why was Oedipus against profanity? because he kisses his mother with that mouth."