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Joke of the Day
"when no one is looking, squirrels use donuts as hula hoops"
Next Joke
"How do you impress a girl? By growing up."
"""who can I count on to volunteer for this project?"" *slumps out of chair and slowly army crawls out of conference room*"
"Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of herself saying ""Not looking good today"" after deleting the first 50 pictures she took"
"Her: Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom? Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper."
"How many ADD's does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go fishing"
"Wearing contact lenses for the first time. My vision's gone from YouTube to Blu-Ray."
"Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid? Because he always uses the force."
"There was a blackout in the streets of Houston yesterday... Don't worry, the police have everything under control..... they shot him."
"WIFE: what's going on? ME: [locking the door] I haven't had an apple in 3 days DOCTOR: [outside, stethoscope in hand] I can hear u breathing"