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Joke of the Day
"Try to eat 70,000 small meals a day to keep your metabolism on its toes."
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"Yo momma is so fat that she was sorted into the House of Pancakes"
"5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions... I'm just gonna let that sink in for a second."
"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"
"I used to think I was indecisive ... ... but now I'm not so sure."
"I spent the last hour molding a little man out of Starbursts and now I have to explain to him about death."
"TIFU by posting in the wrong subreddit"
"How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs? Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce."
"What's the best thing about living with alzheimer's? You get to meet new people everyday."
"What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ? A stripey sweater !"