195119

Joke of the Day

"A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""hey, why the long face?"" The horse says, ""I have cancer."""

"I'd like to thank /r/jokes for teaching me so many jokes! I've always hated the sound of laughter..."

"I saw a man yesterday who was so bald I could see what he was thinking."

"Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?"

"Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window."

"No self-respecting murderer is going to have the patience to stand there for the twenty or thirty hours it'll take me to dig my own grave."

"If you ain't Muslim... ....you ain't Shiite"

"[arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE"

"Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're brave enough."

"What's the difference between a gorilla and an Italian in the bathtub? The gorilla gets out to shit."