195092

Joke of the Day

"What happens when the Sun and the Moon get together? They turn out the lights."

"Autocorrect just changed my kissy face emoji to ""stop it you're 37"" then powered down my phone."

"A group of sex toy manufacturers are discussing the success of their products... and they decided that only dildos had really achieved market penetration."

"Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related."

"The worst feeling in the world is being in love with somebody that knows how to untie rope and run away while you're napping."

"I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. (I worked there my freshman year and had to unclog the toilets.)"

"If a man speaks his mind in a forest. And no woman hears him, is he still wrong?"

"Where do animals go when they lose their tails? The retail store!"

"I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted."

"Everyone knows you can tell a criminal is lying if his lips are moving, but how do you know when a cop is lying? His pen is moving."