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Joke of the Day

"I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted."

"What's better than breaking the seal on a bottle? breaking the seal on a rock."

"I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that's a lot of weed."

"If storks bring human babies what bring monster babies? Cranes."

"Why can't you have sex after playing Assassin's Creed? Because Ubisoft"

"Baby sharks can hunt for food as soon as they are born and my children cannot find their underwear drawer."

"I've just found that my Wii remote doesn't work if you take it out of the sync region. Much like my wife."

"People need to quit hating on women that breastfeed in public. I'm allowed to raise my cat however I want."

"Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat."

"So a limbo champion walks into a bar.. he was disqualified from the limbo competition."