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Joke of the Day

"How do shellfish get high? At a clam bake"

Next Joke
 
"I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me Will you be putting it up yourself?' I told him, No, you sicko, it's going in the living room!'"
"How did Kanye find out that Kim was bound, gagged, and held at gunpoint? She released the video on pornhub. (Too soon?)"
"Thanks for always acting surprised by breakfast in bed like you slept right through the great pots and pans avalanche of 6:45 AM."
"I love my girlfriend, but... My wife hates her!"
"So an ogre walks into a club..."
"I talked to a cannibal dog yesterday... He said it was a real dog-eat-dog world."
"A word to the wise. A paragraph to the smart. A long-form essay to the oblivious. A silent, meaningful gesture to the enlightened."
"What's the first place Dora explored? The mexican border."
"Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint"