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Joke of the Day

"I don't eat animals because I object to how poorly they are treated and raised. Which is why I eat well-loved children."

"What do you call 2 Mexicans playing Basketball? Juan on Juan"

"Famous Last Words List your favorite ones. The one I liked the most when I was growing up: Tarzan: ""Who greased the vine?"""

"An electron and a positron went into a bar and got totally annihilated."

"What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common? They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing."

"How many Psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the light bulb and another to hold the penis...I mean ladder."

"What did the late arriving cannibal receive at the dinner party? The cold shoulder."

"When is a man smartest before, during or after sex? During that's when he's plugged into the know it all."

"The US Judicial system"

"*puts on satin, full length pajamas for men, slips into bed* yes... time to text some girls the word 'hey' and only the word 'hey'"